You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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