Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lischeer06 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

Fav 22 4958 1757
share tweet
(619): View more from California

i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

Fav 113 6286 1660
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

Fav 9 7959 1112
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?

Fav 7 1900 761
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE

Fav 12 2979 871
share tweet
(325): View more from Texas

So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.

Fav 6 1450 701
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?

Fav 2 577 538
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.

Fav 2 45 57
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?

Fav 0 51 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT