I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want to fling myself into the sun
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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