I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
