have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
