Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Quick, to the slutcave!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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