She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
