just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
