Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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