I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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