I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
