I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
