he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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