she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
