I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
