Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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