You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize