People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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