you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
