Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
