She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
