Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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