i was born a porn star she said
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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