Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
