....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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