Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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