naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
