guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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