You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
