i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
