So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
