just come out here and I will go home with you...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
