She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
