How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i think my cat just said my name.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
