dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
