Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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