Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
