the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
