I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
