why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so let's talk penis.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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