I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
