there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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