Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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