Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
handjob tips. give me some.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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