You really coming over, don't trick.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Say something about gay babies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
