i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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