Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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