this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
