ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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