In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
