Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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