Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
