I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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