I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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