Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
