hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
