You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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