As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize