My first STD was from a foam party
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
ttyl tear gas
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
