he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
