obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
