and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
