porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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