I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sext me about skeletons
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
