Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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