I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
