What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
