Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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