She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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