Fuck appropriateness.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
