it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
