What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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