I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
