I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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