is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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