the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
