Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
