I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
